Low Screen, Not No Screen: What Works for Our Family

I’ve flirted with the idea of being a no screen family, but if I’m being honest, that’s just not realistic in my house. I love movie nights, I love binge-watching on a rainy day (or a not so rainy day), and I like playing video games. So I’m not one of those parents who’s anti-screen.  But we are a low screen family, and that’s very much on purpose. Because screens today aren’t just “watching TV” the way it was when we were growing up. Now kids aren’t only watching shows—they’re mindlessly scrolling, clicking from one thing to the next, or playing games that take absolutely no thought. It’s not even entertainment half the time, it’s just constant stimulation.

There’s also so much slop out there geared towards kids. Loud, fast, low-effort content that’s designed to keep them hooked. The kind of stuff where you can almost feel their brains rotting while they watch it. And once kids get used to that pace, everything else feels too slow, reading feels boring, real play feels boring, even those boardgames we used to love are now boring.  

My kids are 2, 6, and 9, so our screen rules look different depending on their age, but we have family-wide boundaries that apply across the board. Not because I’m trying to be strict, but because I’m trying to protect their attention, their moods, and their ability to actually be kids.

Why We Keep Screens Low

I want my kids to grow up creative. I want them to be problem-solvers. I want them to be able to sit in boredom long enough for their brains to wake up and come up with something to do. I truly believe boredom is one of the best things for kids, because that’s where imagination and creativity begin.

And the more I’ve learned about screen time, the more confident I feel about keeping it limited. Research continues to show that excessive screen time can negatively affect kids’ developing brains, both cognitively and emotionally. It’s been linked to issues like trouble focusing, language delays, increased anxiety, sleep problems, and more behavioral challenges, including aggression and difficulty regulating emotions. And I’m not interested in gambling with that if I don’t have to.

Screens aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not trying to pretend technology doesn’t matter. But I do think we’re going to look back at this time one day the same way we look back at cigarettes or lead paint—like how did we not take the long-term effects more seriously sooner?

The People Behind the Screens Aren’t Even Playing

One thing that really confirmed my feelings about screens is how many tech executives limit their own kids’ access. These are the same people who built the products and platforms that we are consumed by.

Steve Jobs famously didn’t let his kids use iPads, and Mark Zuckerberg has said his kids mainly use devices for things like video calls. They understand the dangers. They understand how addictive and attention-grabbing screens are designed to be. So if the people closest to the technology still put boundaries around it at home, I’m going to take note.  

When We’ve Done Too Much Screen Time

And I’m not saying we’ve gotten this perfect. There have been plenty of times when I’ve let my kids spend way too much time on screens, and I can always tell when it’s happening. The patience gets lower, the whining gets louder, there’s more tears,  and they SNACK.  Screen time somehow equals snack time.   

Last year, I let my son play Roblox because I saw it as a way for him to connect with his friends. At first I told myself it was harmless. But it didn’t take long for me to notice how quickly it pulled him in. He started acting like he needed it, and his attitude changed in a way I didn’t like.

Roblox is now a hard no in our house.

Our Family Screen Rules (The Non-Negotiables)

Because of all of this, we have some non-negotiables that apply to everyone in our house. These rules aren’t about being strict just to be strict. They’re about protecting our kids’ attention spans, sleep, creativity, and mental health. Screens are not automatically bad, but too much screen time (or the wrong kind of screen time) really does affect the whole household.

Here are our universal rules:

• No Roblox

• No social media

• No YouTube

• No video games during the week

• No loud, fast, mindless shows

• No TV until after dinner

Why We Don’t Allow YouTube

I love YouTube. For me, I’m on it every day. But for my kids? Nope. No YouTube, and it’s for two reasons.

First, there’s so much content geared toward kids that is low-quality, loud, and overstimulating. A lot of traditional TV shows are created with the help of child development experts, and the pacing is usually slower and more thoughtful. But once kids get used to fast, chaotic content, everything else starts to feel “boring” to them and it becomes harder for them to focus, play, or enjoy quieter activities.

The second issue is the scrolling. YouTube makes it way too easy to go from one video to the next without thinking. Even when the first video starts out innocent, autoplay and recommendations take over quickly, and suddenly they’re deep into content I didn’t approve of and definitely don’t want in my house. I don’t want screen time to turn into mindless scrolling time, so we just don’t do it.

Screen Rules for My Toddler (Age 2)

For my toddler, the only screen she uses is the TV. She doesn’t have a tablet, she doesn’t use a phone, and she doesn’t watch shows on YouTube. I keep her screen time limited and her show choices simple.

She watches  Daniel Tiger,  Peppa Pig, and Sarah & Duck. I personally love the slower pacing of those shows, and yes, I’ll admit I prefer shows with British accents. And since the TV is downstairs in the living room, whatever she’s watching is something I’m hearing too, so I choose things I can tolerate.

She doesn’t watch TV every day, and when she does, it’s usually limited to about an hour or 2 during the week, typically after dinner. On weekends, it can be closer to three if she’s watching T.V. with her brother and sister.

Screen Rules for My 6 and 9 Year Old

My older two have a little more freedom, but I still monitor what they’re watching. Netflix and Prime have plenty of shows that feel like they were quickly thrown together just to keep kids occupied. If it feels like nonsense, it’s not staying on.

Just recently I had to tell my niece and daughter to turn off a show about a piece of bread that had a beauty salon for cupcakes. That was enough for me. My son is also really into sports right now, so a lot of the time he’s watching basketball or football games, which makes things easier because I’m not constantly worried about what he’s being exposed to.

They don’t watch TV every day, and during the week it’s limited—usually about 2–3 hours total. On the weekends, they can have more time if we don’t have anything going on. Saturday and Sunday are the only days they’re allowed to wake up and turn the TV on.

Tablets + Video Games in Our House

We do have an iPad, but it’s a house iPad, not a personal one. And honestly, I prefer my son to play games on his Playstation rather than disappear into random tablet games. With the Playstation, I know what he’s playing and who he’s playing with, and it feels easier to monitor.

He doesn’t have any shooting games, mostly sports games and Pokémon. My daughter isn’t super into video games, but she’ll sometimes play with her brother. On the iPad, we keep the apps intentional. We have Minecraft, Duolingo, Chess, and The Room. I don’t allow mindless games that are basically just tapping and collecting things for no reason.

My daughter once downloaded a slime game where she literally squished pretend slime on the screen, and I remember thinking: why are we doing that when we can use real slime and get a much better experience? That’s exactly the kind of screen time I’m trying to avoid.

Screens Are for Home (With a Few Exceptions)

One of our biggest rules is that screens are for home. I don’t want my kids walking around stores or restaurants with devices in their faces. I want them to learn how to exist in public, look around, and be present, even if it means being bored sometimes.

That said, we do have exceptions. If we are on a car trip longer than three hours, then yes, they can use a device, but not immediately. They usually get it after a couple hours, not the second we start driving. And occasionally, if we’re at a restaurant and everyone has finished eating, and my husband and I want to sit and talk a little longer, we’ll hand over our phones. Not every time, but sometimes.

What We Do Instead of Screens

Honestly, they do what we did as kids. I don’t overcomplicate it, and I don’t have activities lined up all day long. I let them be kids and figure things out.

They play outside, they play with their toys, they do arts and crafts,they play games and they read books. Simple and effective.

My Biggest Worry: Their Mental Health

More than anything, I worry about the mental health of this next generation if we keep normalizing constant screen time. I’m not only thinking about grades or academics, I’m thinking about their moods, their ability to focus, their confidence, and their anxiety levels.  

Screens aren’t harmless just because they’re common. And in our house, being a low screen family isn’t about being strict, it’s about being intentional. Because I want my kids to have a childhood they actually remember, not one where the days blur together behind a screen.